warriorz tales

Think before we Blog

2007-07-17T10:50:00.001+08:00

A Simple Plan

2007-07-12T21:58:00.000+08:00

“A few weeks from now, I shall be cycling down the east coast beach on my 11-yr old bike with the warmth of the tropical sunrise on my face.”

Sounds like a simple plan. It shouldn’t be that difficult, is it ? Only problem was, that statement was said months ago. The delays are sickeningly depressing. There is much one could complain about. The maintenance mayhem. The thorny weather. The planning disarray. The instructor’s schedule. And a million other things.

Now, if complaining brings me results then I’d definitely do it. But it doesn’t. At least, in this case anyways. And I don't like finding or giving excuses too. My parents brought me up in such a way where excuses are never a valid reason for failure.

Once, in primary one – I failed my spelling test. My mum didn’t know. Dad on the other hand, wasn’t furious, but he asked anyways. I told him that it was difficult, not many in class passed, I didn’t have much time to learn – you know, the works. He asked in Malay :

“Did anyone pass ?” I nodded.

“If others can do it, so can you. You have to believe that and stop finding excuses for yourself.”

He’s not like my mum. He spoke just enough, without the extra nagginess to it. I don’t even need to answer that. We then tuned in to the Malaysian Cup highlights for the week.

I still failed after that. But I didn’t give excuses anymore. I just studied harder during commercial breaks of my tv-time. As impressionable as a little boy could be, I just gritted my teeth, clenched my fists and aspired to grow stronger. Maybe watching ‘Rambo’, ‘Ultraman’ and ‘Sarjan Hassan’ helped, somewhat.

In primary 3, I found myself in the company of a whole set of new classmates. I felt a little lost. I’m nowhere near their level and had a really hard time matching up to their academic results. There were times when, some of them actually cried upon receiving 80% for their tests. Truly, I thought I had strayed into a bad dream.

Years later – I realised that I missed them a lot. We played so much, I don’t think I studied at all. Life’s more about discovering then. Knowing that we do not know anything, compels us to learn. Our curiosity keeps us thirsty. I realised that I liked learning. But still, I loathed homework. To date, there is no teacher or friend in the world that could get me to do my homework in time all the time. It got me into a hell of a lot of trouble. Even in secondary, and later stages of my education.

Anyways, those friends inspired me. And they still do. Although we’re all scattered now, we still do keep in touch once in a while. Most of them graduated and are having a wonderful life.

Amongst some primary school mates that I still keep in touch are doing rather splendidly; Mohamed is pursuing his nautical studies degree in Tasmania, Australia. Khalidal, whom I lost touch when she went to RGS, resurfaced a couple of years ago and will be getting hitched soon. Lis Hartini, a teacher after graduating from NUS is blisfully married with 2 kids now. Anwar, on the other hand, will have to play catch-up to Lis and others as he had just graduated with first-class honours in Civil Engineering from NTU last year. Farah too, is happily married, though she’s still in family-planning mode and is focusing on her career for the moment.

Thinking about them opens the colourful history books. Its film seemed to play in my head as if they were just yesterday. I loved my childhood days. Adolescent as well, but that will require a chapter of its own. Like I said before, it is our time. Our generation. The ball is in our court, now.

“How do we want to paint the future ?” The choice is ours.

In the meantime, I’d just have to relax here in Perth and wait my turn. A dear friend once told me, that since I’ve waited a year already, what is a few more weeks. It is heartening to hear such words. Sometimes, I wondered, why do others put their confidence in me when I rarely save any for myself.

Paulo Coelho, the author of Alchemist wrote this seemingly simply;

Then, we warriors of light must be prepared to have patience in difficult times and to know that the universe is conspiring in our favor, even though we may not understand how.

I ask myself: are defeats necessary.

Well, necessary or not, they happen. When we first begin fighting for our dream, we have no experience and make many mistakes. The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times".

So yes, let us get up again. Keep our chin up. And walk tall. Sounds like a plan - a simple plan. Unless of course, it’s time to sleep ;)

Feature Future

2007-07-02T21:35:00.000+08:00

So. The future. What do we have ?

The race will never end. The giants are waking. We are to be poised to ride the growth of several economic powerhouses. There is strength in networking – as many of the bloggers would realise. The same fundamental force binds this world. What happens in one part of the world, affects the rest. The advent of technology has made this once-a-huge world, that small a place.

With so much hype and gusto that pervades our government’s every decision in the news, I believe every self-respecting Singaporean would have already known about integrated resorts by now. The culmination of the Marina Bay Sands and Resorts World Sentosa projects brings with it a thousand repurcussions. Some will be negative, but mostly, financially positive. The financial centres are already raking in the dough, so are the property developers. The tourism industry is poised to benefit the most, presumably. Its spillover effects are tremendous and far-reaching.

The country is also planning for an increase in population. Just when we thought that the queues at Mc Donald’s are already as long as ones for free balloons or NDP tickets of yesteryears, we are to welcome 2 million more fellow dwellers – most notably in the form of foreign workers.

“Welcome brothers, come and take our jobs.”

Yet, looking at it on a more objective view – one will realise that it is of pertinent inevitability. We will eventually have 6.5 million people, whether we plan for it or not. It comes back to our basic, primary tool for survival. Singapore’s only resource is its people. We have 4.5 million people now. In simple terms, a country that produces 1 million barrel of oil one year, has to either produce more than 1 million, or charge higher per barrel, or cut costs in production per barrel in order to continue posting a growth in profits. In a starkly different yet fundamentally similar fashion, since we have only people as our resource – we will need more people to cater to more diverse industries, we have to create more jobs to make more money. It will eventually has to come to this, especially so as our birth rates are not increasing, despite the monetary carrots that the government departments have dangled out to us.

Thus, in order to anticipate that growth – the plans to double the rail network in Singapore has been approved. Plans for more lush green gardens are in the pipeline to give us more breathing space, both in the heartlands and the perimeter of the CBD; Singapore River and Kallang Basin as well. Older housing estates will be rejuvenated and their capacity increased. Jurong and Paya Lebar have been designated as new business hubs in a bid to bring businesses out of the overcrowded CBD. East Coast Park will undergo a huge makeover. The Gardens by the Bay will be bigger than Botanical Gardens – their preliminary designs are already making waves of impressionable statements from the international landscaping world.

Having won the contract to hold the Formula One races for the next five years with another five years on option – Singapore is personifying its mettle and commitment in boosting its tourism industry. Sometimes, I wonder whether that aggressive desire to succeed is any different from the ‘fear of failure’ mentality that we used to have just a generation ago. It appears that some things remain the same. We have to succeed to survive. There is no other way. Although no one can be certain that the world’s only night F1 race will be a hit, it looks like it has all the right ingredients to date.

The competition has been and will always be stiff.

Despite their age, we still have the world’s busiest port and Changi is still the world’s best airport. But, the world is catching up. As Changi is running out of space, Seletar will be developed into an Aerospace Park to cater to the burgeoning aircraft maintenance, repairs and overhaul (MRO) industry. Research found that Asia is set to double its fleet of aircraft by 2015 and requiring 76,200 additional pilots by 2024. The aeropark thus, will help Singapore to position itself strongly to ride this growth. Channelnewsasia reported that the 140-hectare park is expected to contribute S$3.3b annually in value-add or about one percent of the GDP by 2018, whilst creating 10,000 new jobs.

In Changi however, a new Terminal 3 will officially commence its operations on 9th January 2008. Its construction had been purposely delayed due to the September 11 incident, which had stalled the growth of air passengers momentarily. The new terminal will help add a handling capacity of another 20 million, bringing about a handling capacity total of 64 million passengers per annum.

Another interesting development in Changi is the proposed US$115 million spaceport by Space Adventures. It was said that the spaceport will “service the Space Adventures Explorer suborbital tourist rocketplane. It will also provide astronaut training facilities and a public education and interactive visitor centre.”

In another quote, "Singapore is one of the best-connected countries in the world. It is home to one of the world’s busiest air and sea ports. Singapore, with its superior geographical and economic infrastructure, is primed to be the hub of a new, revolutionary form of travel – in space."

Those two quotes should be enough to tickle your interest buds.

On a lesser attention grabbing news to the public, one may take solace that many other industries are also expanding rather forcefully as well. Singapore will be poised to be a Centre for bio-energy production, Shell will be building a multi-million cracker plant in Pulau Bukom, rock caverns will be built underground on Jurong Island to boost the fast growing chemicals and petrochemicals sector. There is of course, a lot more developments than I could care to write about.

What about developments in other parts of the world ?

Again, there are too many to be discussed. China’s markets are expanding at such a monumental rate that the legislators intervened to slow it down; so that the growth can be sustained instead. There are currently 380,000 millionaires at least, in Shanghai. India too, is expected to follow the trend too. Property developers, airlines, traders, businesses of all sorts wish to have a slice of the burgeoning pie. Other than these two giants, we could also see Vietnam, Brazil, Russia and the Middle East growing exponentially too.

United Arab Emirates for example, is taking ‘modernisation’ to an unprecedented level. It has undertaken quite a number of adventurous construction plans. The Burj-Arab, a seven star hotel and the Palm Jumeirah are just amongst some of them. Another one coming up will be The Burj-Dubai. It shall claim the tallest building and structure of any kind in the world by a huge margin. It shall house shopping malls, a hotel, offices and also residential apartments. The height is still kept a secret by the developers.

What is remarkably phenomenal however, is the fact that it may be twice the height of the Petronas Towers. Interestingly enough, it’s nearest future competitor may also be from Dubai. Or perhaps, in Kuwait in 20 years time. The title for Earth's tallest structure shall be restored to the Middle East — one which they had not recovered since the Lincoln Cathedral upset the four millennial reign of Egypt's Great Pyramid of Giza in 1311 AD.

So. What’s the moral of the story ?

That perhaps, knowing that the world is moving at such a pace brings a thousand splendid opportunities. It is a known fact that there will be a global shortage of 15 million skilled workers by 2010. Singapore notwithstanding. In order for these places to thrive, they require skilled, knowledgeable individuals. Their doors shall open to those whom assiduously keep themselves relevant and marketable. So, be a global citizen. Go out there and explore the world. Develop our niche skills, and seize our opportunities the world has to offer.

ps. But of course, I may be wrong. Do not mind me, I’m just talking to myself :)

Overcoming Writer's Block

2007-06-28T09:39:00.000+08:00

Money for Monkeys

2007-06-18T22:59:00.000+08:00

Background

A fellow blogger would've generalised the title as 'financial management for Malays'. He had written about "The Bankrupt Mat" - Malays’ Current Money Habits Will See the Community in Financial Disaster.

I wouldn't want to argue with him. We live our lives differently. I've written in an earlier post; "that we have a right to have our own views in life. And how to live it". So perhaps, what one sees as a problem, another would see it as a challenge. What one sees as a forsaken cause, another may hold on to hope and faith. Even in storms, clouds have a silver lining.

This write-up however, is an attempt to share some of the generally simpler methods of managing one's wealth for anyone who cares to read - regardless of race, religion, sex, political affiliations or profession. It will be written in plain simple english devoid of financial jargon so that even the ahpek-under-the-block who owns the Hotel 81 chain, millionaire taxi-driver auntie, the opposition parties' bankrupt lawyer & doctor and the next Singapore Idol wannabe, could understand.

Disclaimer

This is the part where I have to say that I am not to be held liable for any financial mishaps, loss of money-laundering friends, being arrested for not having enough to pay for your tv license or any other disasters in your life should you choose to practice what I have to share here. I am neither a financial advisor nor working for any insurance company whatsoever. So, rest assured that I am not trying to earn a single cent from this.

I am not in any way 'qualified' to give financial advice. In fact, I do not even have enough money to marry or hold a wedding with the savings I currently have. I earn about a thousand dollars a month, and after CPF deductions - I have less than a thousand bucks to spend and save. So, you have been forewarned. Only if you are still really interested, then carry on.

Main Article

Interestingly boring

2007-05-24T23:38:00.000+08:00

A friend asked me to write about our days here in Perth. "Especially this last lap," he requested. I turned my head and looked at him. I know that face. He wanted me to encapsulate the intangible emotions that seemed to sap the very soul of our lives away.

But, I thought to myself. Words fail.

We have clocked about a year here in Perth. The fiery excitement of living in a foreign land had long been extinguished. Our days are spent in drawing whatever strength from every little crevice left in our hearts. We pray for relentless hope to achieve and unyielding aspiration to succeed. The shining force of enthusiasm that fueled our spirits at the start is waning. Yet when we looked up to the sky above, it takes our breath away. At least one thing is certain, our passion has never diminished.

The predicament is uncanny. Unlike running the last lap of a race, we are not as fortunate to know where the finishing line is. We live one day at a time. Study and practice. Learn and familiarise. Preparations for each lesson were made as early as possible, lest we need to repeat them should our performance do not make the grade. We are subjected to many an external factor that may affect us – ones that slow our progress, hinder our skills acquisition or downplayed our abilities.

Please, do not misundertand me. I am not complaining. I am merely sorting my thoughts out so I do not lose focus. Always keep your eyes on your goal, I was taught. Bring yourself nearer to it, everyday. So yes, that is what I would do. What we, would do.

Roots Matter

2007-05-24T22:53:00.000+08:00

My mind shifted. I wondered. About Singapore. My home. My family.

Mum had been bored for too long a time. Unlike most girls, she does not thrive on the idea of being a "tai-tai" at home. She needs to get out there and do something. After decades of little adventures, being anything from a halal-meats butcher in a wet market, a canteen vendor in my secondary school and polytechnic, a free-lance cook for festivities, sales agent for pyrex and tupperware (amongst other companies), a real estate agent and many other little thrills - all this, while taking care of five children; she now looks at the prospect of becoming a cab driver. Sometimes, I wonder what is it that she cannot do.

Dad lives his day in anticipation for me to graduate. I have this feeling that he wished to retire and start a business on his own once I am done. He shared his vision with me, once. To be a farmer. I can already imagine him wearing a straw hat, large retro sunglasses and khaki pants, tending to his small-time cattle and crops. Under the tropical sun, drinking pina coladas (more probably to be teh-tarik or milo-ais) over green meadows in the country's sultry tropical sun. My mum perhaps, would intercom him over the walkie-talkie every half an hour asking him to come back and eat lunch / tea-break / dinner in a real kampung house. There, they shall bask, in a simple life. But then, how can mum even stay at home ? Anyways, he sounded chirpy the last time I spoke to him over the phone.

"Didn't you get the news ?"

"What news ?" I queried his too general a question.

"We're having a six-month bonus this year !"

I could sense the hearty smile from his voice. It was almost child-like. Dad had been with Singapore Airlines all his life, since Paya Lebar days. His affinity and loyalty, is disdainfully unquestionable. He loved the planes to its bolts and screws.

My siblings are generally fine, save for some "post-natal and post-honeymoon period" crisis for my first sister, "what to do with my life in the future" crisis for my second sister, and "searching for an identity" crisis for my teenage brother. All in all, these are the phases of lives we all have to go through, one way or another. Hana, my eight-year old sister, is still too young for crisises. She still lives in a time when forgetting your homework is like the end of the world. How I wish, I am an eight-year old too.

Protecting Dreams

2007-05-24T01:59:00.000+08:00

Then, I pondered a little deeper. Of the past. Present. And the future.

We are living in interesting times. Never before in history, have we had the ability to dream freely and the opportunity to make it true. Every baby born in Singapore today, are granted that right. We are free from serving our colonial masters. Free from legislations of birth rights and racial privileges. Free from unjustified bereaucracy that opens the doors of education only for the males or wealthy or politically affiliated. Just fifty years ago, we were deprived of these basic rights. Our fathers have fought hard so we do not suffer like they did. Many had forgone their dreams, so we can live ours.

So go on. Dream. And live it. If you want to be a doctor, lawyer, teacher, architect, engineer, manager, accountant, writer, artist, composer, director or whatever your dream career is, what better time or era is there for you to realistically go for it ?

Draw it out. Chart it out. Work towards it everyday. Slowly, we are realising this. With every success story of someone close to us, we celebrate a common victory. Liberty unfolded. We begin to have more faith in ourselves and surge forward. Come, let us shape the future. It is our time. Our generation.

Do not listen to the naysayers. There are many. And they come in every shape, size and salutations. Some may come in the form of petty criminals or drug addicts who had lost the plot. They cry out that they have been marginalised, left out, unfairly treated - amongst other excuses given. Yet many still, unfortunately - manifest themselves in the form of trusted friends, uncles, aunties and even those people whom we are supposed to look up to.

I know of a Malay teacher whom had 'lost hope' with the Malay language. She believes that it is a waste of time learning it, her point being that we will not be using it in our working life later on. Its usage is merely symbolic, she argued. I shudder to think if her negativism and pessimistic views rubs on her students.

Christopher Gardner, in the movie 'Pursuit of Happyness' told this to his son :

"You got a dream, you gotta protect it. People can't do something themselves, they wanna tell you that you can't do it. You want something? Go get it. Period."

Perhaps, it sums up what I have been trying to drive at.

I still have much to say actually, especially about the future. Just that perhaps, I think it may be too much to spill everything in the same entry. So there, I shall have to hold those thoughts until next time. Have a good life, and protect your dreams.

First Day in Kindy

2007-04-21T20:37:00.000+08:00

Agreed to agree to disagree

2007-04-20T23:57:00.000+08:00

There is a tinge of scepticism as I started to type this. The seat's the same. The room's the same. Even the keyboard, is the same. There's not much thought-provoking quandary, quagmire or predicament that has been bothering me lately. Life's been kind to me.

"So what's the problem ?"

Yes. I can hear your silent musings from here. "Here is a guy that has nearly all he dreamed of, yet he is complaining that he has nothing that has been bothering him. Why should he ? Well, he should not be granted that prerogative, since that guy. Hmm. Somehow, has a family that loves him dearly. Friends whom, somehow. Misses his antics. And somehow. Hmm. Somehow, he had somehow followed his heart by dancing to its beats. And somehow, just somehow. The pieces of the jigsaw is slowly discerning some light to a clearer picture. Somehow, that picture is a bit rosy too. Well, it's again - just somehow, of course."

"So what's the catch ?"

Yes. I can hear that too. "He hasn't changed, this guy. Still sly in his conversations, to catch you unawares of the main points that he really wanted to put across. His silence can be deafening, his words can be confusing and his laughter can be contagious at times. He can be so cocky, yet he's so down to earth. It may be prudent to probably not to take him seriously. But probably it is prudent to. Seriously.

"See ? Now, I'm confused."

Well. That's exactly the point that I want to put across. You see, my dear friend. As you read through the first couple of sentences, your loud refutations began to lose its amplitude. You seem to begin to pick up some doubts along the way. Most things in life looks rosier from another person's perspective. "He's a lucky man. She's a lucky girl." Look again at what I wrote about what I somehow have. If you sit and think, my friend. You too, have it too.

"Do you not have a family that loves you ?"
"Do you not have friends whom asks how you are, who cares for you ?"
"Do you not have a life that's slowly unraveling itself to you ?"

So, there you have it then. You have now lost that priviledge to complain too, right ? Ok. I heard that too. You're saying that it's not the same. Of course it's not. It was never meant to be. But can't you see ? That what you see in others, they see it in you as well. And life's treasures are not those that can be bought. They are in their simplest form. Family. Friends. And the gift of Life.

This is a phrase from Troy.

"Men are haunted by the vastness of eternity. And so we ask ourselves: will our actions echo across the centuries? Will strangers hear our names long after we are gone, and wonder who we were, how bravely we fought, how fiercely we loved?"

That phrase does not bring me to the next point. It is your interpretation that does. Some of you may agree with it. Some do not. When you read my fifth paragraph just now, not all of you will agree to what I have said about myself. You have your own perceptions of me. There will be some good ones. And some really nasty ones. Similarly. What you imbued of yourself, may not necessarily what others think of you. But why should you care, anyways ? This is your life. You have no one to answer to, except God and yourself. If you do not believe in God, then it's your conscience that you have to adhere to. You are entitled, to your freedom of will.

This is an excerpt from The Kingdom of Heaven.

A King may move a man, a father may claim a son, but remember that even when those who move you be Kings, or men of power, your soul is in your keeping alone. When you stand before God, you cannot say, "But I was told by others to do thus." Or that, "Virtue was not convenient at the time." This will not suffice. Remember that.

"So that's it ?"

"So we, have to be responsible for our every thought, action and inaction ? Bravo. So you kept me reading this just so we would learn to be thankful for our blessings ? That we have a right to have our own views in life ? And how to live it ? And not to think so much about what others think, except for those that matter ? Please Firdaus, if we are granted those rights to do what we want, think what we want, believe in what we want to, then why are you contradicting yourself and telling us all these things ?"

Well, my friend. This explains the tinge of scepticism I had at the start. If you haven't realised, this is MY blog. And these ramblings, are not meant for you. They are for me. Why ? Can't I talk to myself ? Yes, they are here to remind me to be grateful. To serve as a reminder to remain grateful for those things that I have already been blessed and bestowed with. To embrace life each day as it comes. To take responsibility for my own actions. And you. I didn't ask you to read my blog. What's my point ? Yes. There's no point in making points. And yes. What you want to do with your life, is entirely up to you.

May you live, a fulfilling life. :)

Give Me Strength

2007-03-27T00:32:00.000+08:00

This is my prayer to thee, my lord - strike,
strike at the root of penury in my heart.

Give me the strength lightly to bear my joys and sorrows.

Give me the strength to make my love fruitful in service.

Give me the strength never to disown the poor or bend my knees before insolent might.

Give me the strength to raise my mind high above daily trifles.

And give me the strength to surrender my strength to thy will with love.

by Rabindranath Tagore

Eid. Not yet

2006-11-06T13:31:00.000+08:00

Ramadhan whizzed past. The tears of Syawal have dried up more quickly than before. It evoked the cornucopia of yesteryears. A young man relived some of his salient days then.

_______________________________________________________________________________

"Son, we all miss you. Do return." [translated]

His mum's tears perhaps have trickled down her cheeks as she continued coaxing him to return. On the other line, thousands of miles away in Aotearoa - the young man could no longer hold his tears. Despite his plans, his will, his reasons.

He had planned to work throughout his summer holidays. He'd summoned his will, to sacrifice one Eid. His reason was plain: so that he could earn enough to pay for his lodging, for the next semester in school. He doesn't want to impose too much on his parent's limited reserves. He knew of his parents' sacrifices for him. Their hopes and aspirations. He knew.

Yet, mum's tears can change anything. If there's anything that could shake one's will, bend the laws of reason and obliterate his plans - this is it. In between their quiet sobs, they both could hear the takbir quite unmistakably, in the background.

"Well, that's it." He thought, as the conversation ended.

Like an experienced phone operator, he got to work in clockwork efficacy. He called his manager to inform him that he's got to return home whilst the other hand googled the web for Singapore Airlines ticketing services number. Within six minutes, he had quit his holiday job, booked the next available ticket to Singapore and informed his flatmate that he's scooting off home. The next few hours were spent packing his luggage, cleaning the room and some last minute shopping for souvenirs to bring home.

_______________________________________________________________________________

Fast forward a few years later.

The same man, perhaps more matured then, goes through the same ordeal. Again. It's the third time in 4 years that he's celebrating Eid without his family by his side. Deep inside, he hopes it'll not become a trend.

This time though, he knows that there's no turning back on his plans. Like his fellow friends, he had burnt the bridge behind him. His only consolation was that, at least, he wasn't alone. Sacrifices sometimes are required for a greater good perhaps, in the future.

The past year could very well be amongst the most trying for him. The young man has had a wonderful time in his schooling days. Thus, struggling for nearly a year to find a job is a harsh reality he finds excruciatingly difficult to grasp. He'd tried it all. A tutor. A salesperson. A real estate agent. An IT administrator. An insurance agent. An aircraft maintenance planner. Alas, these are part-time jobs he had to take whilst he frantically tries to find something more suitable as a career. Thus, labels such as 'failure', 'lazy', 'good-for-nothing', 'the unemployed' and the likes stuck to him like flies over rubbish.

The young man's posterior remained resilient. Yet the cracks in his once stolid beliefs are becoming increasingly evident. He doesn't really care about what others say, think or believe.

"Since when did the opinions of others matter ?" He mused.

But. To see the same love and hope in the eyes of his parents, every single day, has since become unbearable. Their unflinching faith in him brings with it a stupendous amount of responsibility he's afraid he couldn't shoulder. Slowly, it's nibbling into his confidence and sense of self-worth.

_______________________________________________________________________________

One day, somehow.

Interviewer : Young man, can you swim ?
Young Man : Yes, sir.
Interviewer : Are you afraid of water ?
Young Man : No, sir.
Interviewer : Are you afraid of heights ?
Young Man : No, sir.
Interviewer : You're not afraid of anything ?
Young Man : Of course not, sir. I'm only human. (smiles)
Interviewer : What's your greatest fear, then ?
Young Man : My greatest fear, sir.... (pausing)
Interviewer : Yes ?
Young Man : Is not being able to provide for my family....
Interviewer : hmm.... (nodding)

_______________________________________________________________________________

Suddenly, a new phase of life starts for him.

Quintessentially, it will not be without it's fair share of joys and tribulations.

What'll happen to that young man ?

No one knows. The road through life has never been certain. He'd pray that he'd be blessed with the faith, strength and courage in his quest. One Eid, perhaps, he'd tell his tale.

But not yet. Not yet.

Discreet Prudence

2006-09-01T11:37:00.000+08:00

As I pondered of something to write, a million chapters unfolded and begged to be included. Alas, the words just dun seem to dance in symphony and the skits that appeared almost instantly, begins to fade in the blackness of space. It's uncanny how quickly the mind shuts off when the heart's unwilling.

In retrospect, I figured that many a story could not be reproduced accurately enough to reflect its enacted truth. The human mind is divided into its semantic and episodic memories. Suffice to say that our episodic memories may be rather fluid and are inadvertently shaped by our expectations and experience. A loud bang outside the house may remind a young chap of fireworks he'd seen in the national day parade, a burst tyre to his father and perhaps of world war bombings for his grandmother. And they would react in awe, anger or desperation accordingly.

Even in history books, one will find several conflicting theories on how things began or ended. The world wars for example - what the Germans engineered may not be congruent to what the British recite in their literature or what the Americans tried to propagate.

Thus perhaps, just in case - if my heart will one day allow the mind to speak, it shall be done in a manner of discreet prudence yet without fear or favour. It shall also be done with absolute understanding that the truths may be a little obliterated due to my own set of beliefs and understanding of things - a weakness inherent in me, as I wade through and perceive the world with perhaps an obscured view and less than perfect sights.

Flyboys - The Movie

2006-08-05T09:18:00.000+08:00

Track of faith

2006-05-31T10:22:00.000+08:00

This journey had been an arduous one. In retrospect, I somehow have this belief that most things in my life are preparing me for this. My dad told me that we'll never know what He planned for us, until we're there. Then we can see better. And appreciate every little deviation that we did not expect. Failures were there to strengthen our resolve. Obstacles were there to keep us on our feet. We had to rack our brains, we had to dig deep, to have trust in things we have no control over. It is true. The more we know, the more humbled we get by the very fact that we realise that we do not know much about anything.

I wasn't born to privilege, nor to poverty. I grew up in a humble home which was filled with love and tolerance. Of course, there're bound to be challenges that we face as a family. Typical problems of financial instability, differences in opinions, squabbles, quarrels and plain mood swings were imbued into the fabric of our lives. I thought that it gives some kind of colour to it, which defined us to whom we truly are.

I'm proud of my parents. They had no formal education to land them illustrious careers or big jobs. They have 5 offsprings. And yet, they defied some common logic of sorts and succeeded in building a wonderful home and a warm family. Despite the disagreements between various schools of thought, I somewhat believe that the best social leveller is still education. Our education minister, Tharman Shanmugaratnam had recently reinforced that perception. He once quoted:

"An example of how Singaporeans have done well in life is how 50 percent of students who lived in 1- to 3-room flats, had gone on to tertiary education some 10 years ago. Today, 80 percent of them do so."

And thus, I'm thankful for having parents whom are consistently conscientious in emphasizing the importance of education and had been ultra accommodating in assisting us pursue the vast knowledge that we seek, discover the envelopes of our talents and the honing of our life skills. Few would disagree if I said, we owe too much to them - from the day we were born, they have showered us with unconditional love. This, in itself - is a priceless commodity.

As I sat down, in the southern skies again today - contemplating the next phase of my life, I prayed. That I will be granted the strength to do what is right and not what is easy. That I'll make my parents proud, one day. Everyday.

And whilst hard work, discipline, being street smart and even a tad of luck is imperative to success - I think that there is this ingredient that connects them up all in one. And keeps us going, when all seems like a lost cause. It's called - faith.

Forlorn with grit

2006-04-15T00:11:00.000+08:00

That word just resonates through my entire being. The quagmire's deep. It has this uncanny vicious quicksand effect. The more I try to struggle, the faster I drown. It's that point in time when it's so easy to forget who you truly are, what're your struggles for, why you keep on fighting in the first place. Pressure breaks the brittle. I'm not sure whether I'd be crushed and spewed out.

What I know, is that I will do what I have to do. All these while, I lived my life with some disregard for it. To have this latent fear suddenly creeping up to me is rather unnerving. I need faith most now. I need Him more than ever. I need everyone's assistance and prayers...

(ps: some of my earlier posts have been extracted out from public viewing)

Shape of the heart

2005-07-18T00:25:00.000+08:00

I was thinking about passion a lot lately. Teck Wah (TP Student Development Officer) once asked me whether I'm still active in outdoor activities - namely climbing, trekking, travelling and plain sweating it out. I stood agape, unable to answer. He eyed me in my uneasy shuffle. He nods, as if he understood the predicament I'm in.

___________________________________________________________________________________

It was just about 11pm, but I carried the weariness of yesterdays. I planned to turn in early, but I logged in to check my email. My MSN gave that familiar beep. I’m not really in the mood to chat. It's Margaret in Melbourne. Missed her. Was pouring my hearts to her, then she hit me with "Soon enough, I guess. You’re passionate in what you do….".

___________________________________________________________________________________

Sunday. What am I doing at work ? After clearing out the morning’s tasks, the day became a bore. Slacked out in the aircraft’s cockpit with my supervisor. He taught me an invaluable lesson. No. It’s not his technical prowess or the aircraft’s technological marvels. He was like an encylopedia through and through. He’s been with the airline for more than 20 years. And while he looks at the aircraft, like a proud parent he said "It’s amazing, isn’t it ?"

___________________________________________________________________________________

Saturday. I had to work still. And I have a climbing competition later. But before that, I have to meet Anwar to help me fax some documents over to Singapore Power for my client. He saw me in a rush and asked. Told him I’m late for the competition. He was surprised. "Fir, you’re not known to be late for these kinda things…"

____________________________________________________________________________________

High Flight

Oh, I have slipped the surly bonds of earth
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
Of sun-split clouds - and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of - wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence. Hov'ring there,
I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air.
Up, up the long delirious, burning blue
I've topped the windswept heights with easy grace
Where never lark, or even eagle flew.
And, while with silent, lifting mind I've trod
The high untresspassed sanctity of space,
Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.

- John Gillespie Magee, Jr.

Of work and holiday

2005-06-23T22:00:00.000+08:00

I was walking across the airstrip that links Changi Airport to the hangars one Saturday afternoon. The sun began to ease up a bit in the west while the silhouttes of aircrafts on the southern horizon began to grow in numbers. It was the peak period for the airport. There were landings every 2 minutes. Singapore Airlines worked on hour-glass transfers. Passengers from Europe departs in the morning, reaches Singapore for dinner and get on a connecting flight to Australasia and other parts of Asia right after. I'll be on her flight to Perth the next day. But that day, like the rest of the days before it – is pulling my head sideways to attend to various loose ends that I need to trim up before my holidays.

I came back home late the day before. It was Andy's birthday. I couldn't plan much for him, frustratingly. We had a simple dinner at Tanjong Pagar's Railway Station right after a short climbing session at Climb Adventure.

Realised that I'm getting weaker. My movements were still well-balanced but lacked the precision of late. I get pumped up pretty quickly too. Perhaps its age. Perhaps its the bizarre week. But it was a good workout, with great company too. I hope the others had a wonderful time there as much as I did.

I reached home about half past midnight and quickly tried to catch some sleep. I've got a climbing clinic to attend to, the morning after. I've got to assist Jamilah and Madelene in their preparations, then quickly scoot off to work overtime at the hangar. Then I remembered that I had to meet Kamaruzaman's dad first. He wanted me to pass some money to his beloved son in Perth.

The aircraft descended beautifully while I was busy in my thoughts. The clouds reflected some of the sun's rays around its shape while its middle portion sifted the slanted rays into several lines of light. There's some inexplicable aura of romance in the air. I looked at the aircrafts around the hangars and whispered, "Don't worry, you'll be up there soon. Where you belong".

Singapore Airline's Jubilee 777, sending us off to Perth

Then I made my way briskly to my next workplace in Kembangan.

A few days later, as boredom creeps in while I was in the City Stay Hotel Apartments, I began to read a book a friend recommended to me – Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom. It was as if she knew this book was what I was looking for. I was immersed and mesmerised by it within a few pages. One of the conversations in the story had summed up some of my own thoughts nonchalantly:

"Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything, for granted".

The author then went on to describe life metaphorically. His last statement churned me up a little. Although my heart is losing faith, my will remains a staunch believer.

"A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle."

Sounds like a wrestling match, I say.

"A wrestling match.” He laughs. "Yes, you could describe life that way”.

"Which side wins ?"

He smiles at me, the crinkled eyes, the crooked teeth.

"Love wins. Love always wins." (Mitch Albom, 1999)

It evoked some kind of rejuvenation. I feel glad. Not many people I know share the same sentiments. Maybe we once did. When we're still very young. As we grew older, these values are traded, or diluted, or lost, without our knowledge, many a time.

"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning." (Mitch Albom, 1999)

Each of us has our own way of living our life. We place our priorities on different things. We do not share the same values. Or perspectives. Or paradigms. I know. I'm being vague here. But that's what life is about, right ? We do not get answers in the face. It's usually whispered in the wind. If only we'd listen. If only we put our values to the right things. Then we'd be living. Then we'd be human.

I watched Hitch on the way to Perth. One of the advices Hitch usually gave his clients was that, "begin each day as if it's for a purpose". I wish I could remind myself that everyday. I used to. Just before Chin Ming went to Australia 5 years ago, she confessed that she finally understood my perspective of being a warrior in life. A fighter. A knight.

And that's after 3 years of close friendship.

Liza came to see me at the City Stay Apartment. So did Kamaruzaman. And Faizal. We're supposed to meet up at 5. Liza was the earliest. And she arrived at 6. I called Kamaruzaman and Faizal a few times. We caught up on stuffs in a posh colonial-inspired café. I messaged Haslinah, asking her whether she'd be interested in joining us at Makan2. Apparently, she's still at her friend's place in Joonderlup. Maybe we'd meet up some other time. I thought of Farhan (TK Sec). I wondered how I could contact him.

We spoke of little things at the café. Nothing deep or too serious. Liza was an information booth. My mum's list of queries could all be answered. From university courses, to business opportunities, to work permits, to permanent residence matters and of course, current tourist attractions. This happened while Kama, Faizal and I were busy chiding one another and laughing at our own antics.

My sister wanted to shop. I planned to climb with Faizal the day after. My brother wanted a go-kart race. We planned for a tree-top walk at King's Park, after scouting around the universities. Our newfound relative will bring us to Albany the day after next. To Margaret's River. To see the whales. The dolphins. Then the kangaroos. The koalas.

On Busselton Jetty, where we saw a seal

Plans do not go as planned though. If you've watched Boys and Girls, you might have remembered a scene where Freddie Prinze declared that the Golden Gate bridge in San Francisco is a work of art. It took much planning and executed the set of actions to fruition. He believed that happiness can be planned and then executed too. As expected, his planned happiness didn't come through. However, at the end of the day, he did find love. He realised that even the most random of things may be part of a complicated pattern, a more divine plan. He realised, sometimes one do not need to keep looking and working out a plan for happiness. It happens when you begin enjoying the simple things in life. It reinforces the view that nothing is so definite. That nothing is certain.

Instead of shopping at Harbour Point, we went to Carousel. It was larger and had a good range of products. But it was dear. A little expensive for a similar quality product back home. We went to King's Park. But it was a little too dark to play around. A little too cold for chatting too. Liza brought us there. She was such a wonderful host and guide. Faizal didn't bring me to climb. I reckon he was stressed out at exams.

I had coffee with Haslinah at Northbridge instead. We've alway's talked about catching up. To have coffee one day in Singapore. To think that it only materialised in Perth. In any case, I couldn't complain. The ambience, profiterolles, coffee and service at Valentino's were excellent. There were some Italian waiters in there who spoke with a spatter of their native accent. Suddenly I remembered Farah's (EV Primary) obsession for them. I had to agree with her, although my male ego restraints me a bit. Their voice is clearly a winner with girls. It was deep. And strong.

Boy (Danial) didn't have his wish for go-karting granted as well. We discovered that it was in Fremantle. A good half an hour's drive away. So that got scrapped as well. Instead of racing in go-karts, we took the wheels at the Daytona machines. And had some innocent fun at air-hockey. It was a simple evening out. And it was enjoyable.

I spoke of a newfound relative a few paragraphs before. A wonderfully accommodating family, one whom our memories of Perth will eternally be embedded with. It was an accidental discovery that our distant relative was there. She's my mum's cousin. And as if Fate wanted to make its point, our distant relative's husband once used to be my father's colleague as well. It took just a few minutes, and our parents are chatting as if to make up for the lost time between them. Our newfound uncle, 'Mamu' (as we affectionately call him) proposed a little road trip to see the beautiful countryside around Perth. Suddenly, the rest of the days Downunder whizzed past rather quickly.

Our newfound relatives

Our trip highlights include going down south to Margaret's River where we explored the awesome underground limestone caves, the art of glass making and extensive vineyards. There were more things that we could do there, but for the lack of time and crappy weather – we've got to be contented with the picturesque views of the countryside. I noticed that there were many similarities between Australia and New Zealand. However, while the environments may be the same – their hearts cling on to somewhat dissimilar values.

Depressing weather ahead

Anyways.

On our way to Margaret's River, we passed by the beautiful town of Bunbury and idyllic coastline of Busselton. Although laid-back – it showcased some good use of technology in an environmentally friendly way. These people love the natural beauty of their country and are not too eager to let them be sacrificed for the sake of material gains. As I was entertaining these little thoughts, something crept up to me:

"Australia has got the brains, financial strength, unsurpassed natural resources and land to do a lot of great stuffs that many countries can only dream of. I imagine that they have got what it takes to build a huge and classy airport, the tallest skyscrapers, nuclear weapons, space shuttles and the 'works' that makes the world go gawking in awe. But to date, they chose not to. I wonder why. Perhaps they do not have enough people. Yeah. Australia is sparsely populated. But the migration patterns have been positively assuring."

Somewhere in me, I could not find a reason, reason enough to be a good reason. Perhaps they're the epitomy of humility. That they do not find the need to flaunt their assets. Perhaps they're just lazy. Perhaps they couldn't care less. Perhaps they're happy with how things are. Perhaps they're waiting for the right moment. Perhaps Hoobastank could come up with a better reason.

And perhaps I wrote too much about me. But that's what blogs are for, right ? Me ! Me ! Me ! Metallica would've have put it bluntly – Nothing else matters.

A Confused Medulla Oblongata

2005-04-30T12:41:00.000+08:00

I cannot keep up. It's dizzying. My thoughts dwelled on the good old days as a student. The simple life. Laughter were abundant then. We played hard to win games, tournaments, accolades. And missed classes, lectures, tutorials, exam tips. Ah, the glorious days of a student life.

Still, when it matter – we studied hard together. Equipped with thermos flasks, we virtually pump caffeine intravenously into our veins. Excited with a newfound gizmo then – the cellular phone, we frequently called our fellow comrades whom had assiduously did and copied the answers for the homework, assignments, tutorials. In the wee hours, we found salvation. Just as miraculously, we passed.

But.

The dawn of a new era has arrived. We're now in the rat race. We gain consolation from the very fact that even the winners are still rats, nonetheless. But we must not lose. We cannot afford to.

Each of us have goals, dreams and aspirations. Mine is simple. Like most Capricorns, I'm cursed with an ambitious mind. Yet I'm realistic. Life is just a little short journey. Maslow's hierarchy of needs gives a good indication that most of our needs are already accounted for, here at home. Shelter and food are the least of our worries.

None of us suffers from hunger or serious poverty. So our problems are not about survival, but of sustenance of a high-flying life. Our monthly budgets are typically wants-driven with the bulk of expenses spent on vehicle-related fees, club memberships, traveling, fine dining, information technology, bills, cable television susbcriptions, recreation, fashion and the arts. I wonder if there's any less dignity for simplicity.

So what if I live in a small little home with neither a butler, nor car, nor plasma TV, nor LCD monitors, nor high-speed internet access, nor a THX-rated entertainment suite, nor five star designed décor? So what ?

I wonder why the society has placed these things as precursors to happiness. I wonder why we would have any fewer friends if we do not possess these things. I wonder why people will look at us as a second-class citizen, or even harbor thoughts that we are not incumbent Singaporeans. I wonder why our people are going head over heels to savour the sushi of Japan and not lentils of Africa, when the Japanese had once upon a time buried our forefathers alive, hacked their heads off and raped our women, among other things. I wonder why I'm wondering.

In any case.

Economic forecasts for this region have generally been encouraging. Singapore's 3 largest banks have posted higher fee-based income, with DBS making a handsome S$1 billion in 2004. Their investments on fee-based income have paid out really well as compared to their nearest competitors, UOB and OCBC. The privatization of HDB loans also has increased fierce competition amongst the banks.

Shipping companies also have posted huge earnings in 2004 – its best in a generation. Across all shipping sectors, boxships, tankers and the drybulk market, profit margins have leapt, vessels are full and cash tills have been ringing. Shipping has always been a barometer to world trade in macroeconomic terms. Thus, it gives a good general indicator on how the other businesses are doing as well. If your business is doing well, you will need more supplies to cater to market's demand. You need to order more stuffs. Shipment will increase. It is as simple as that.

However.

“The Matrix is all around us. It is the world that has been pulled over our eyes to blind us from the truth.” That said, we start wondering whether all these are conjured up to alleviate investors' confidence. How did our fledgling little country could have posted a growth rate that dwarves even China and India last year ?

Government spending has increased these few years when our region is in recession. True to Singapore's business sense – save when times are good. Buy when times are bad. When private developers shun away from committing into new projects, that's the best time for the government to grab the contractors for their projects. With little other businesses around, the Government possess greater bargaining power. Putting these firms to work also helps increase jobs, and add some sparks in the economy, making everyone happy.

Singapore Airlines is another classic example. Her acquisition of various smaller airlines such as Virgin Atlantic and some others were done when the going gets tough for the industry. Air New Zealand would have been in her portfolio too if not for the New Zealanders' protests of national interests. Other than the straight-forward benefits that the investments warrants – her real motives were to gain access to the lucrative trans-Atlantic routes (via Virgin Atlantic) and trans-Tasman routes (aka Kangaroo route) between Australia and New Zealand (via ANZ). That route is currently duopolised by ANZ and Qantas by more than 90%.

_________________________________________________________________

Enough said. Let me begin. Begin without a story again. I think. I've procrastinated far too long. Despite being trapped in haphazard shambles, I'm actually finding my way. Even in mediocrity, one may find peace. Zhuge Liang would have agreed with Sun Tzu – “no matter how far the journey, it's one step at a time”. I'm feeling better. Problems haunt me still. Good thing they're volatile. As one dissolves, another evolves - that's the way it revolves. Decision-making is life. We choose from fate's prefabricated menu. And hope that we ordered right. We play by the cards that has been dealt to us. And hope that we've formulised and implemented the right stratagem.

It is just the first quarter. Things do change. This year is proving to be extra special. Ferrari did not win in the first two races in this year's campaign. Renault instead, scored three consecutive victories in as many races. Fernando Alonso is currently tops with 24 points more than the defending champion, Michael Schumacher – who is currently facing a major setback and a podium drought. The new car suffered from mechanical failures despite a searing start – which saw Schumacher's Ferrari sharing the same pole's grid with Alonso at the start of the race.

Arsenal too, has their Premiership and European Champions League dreams thwarted. For the first time in a decade or so, the likely EPL champions will not be clad in red. Even Tiger Woods' is not spared. His reign was blemished for a brief moment by Vijay Singh.

On 28th February 2005, the incumbent Mc Laren F1's reign as the fastest production car has finally been broken. By whom ? Nope. Not the lavish Italians, nor the clinical Germans. Guess again. Hail the new champion – Koenigsegg CCR from Sweden. I have always liked the car. The unfortunate blaze at their factory three years ago must have delayed their R&D for the CCR. It's a worthwhile wait, however. It clocked 388km/h that day. Enough said.

Some things do not change though. Valentino Rossi still leads the pack in his blazing bike through the Moto Grand Prix. Katie Brown still inspires the crowd with her gravity-defying antics once she returned to the climbing scene from a long-term injury. The climbers in Singapore are still a vibrant lot, with most of the familiar faces either still competing actively or have turned to coaching and instruction.

NASA is still pumping a lot of money into projects that many governments would not have bothered and have little if no commercial value at all. The JSF project is underway. Lockheed's X35, after beating Boeing's X32 to win the contract – still has a number of areas where they have to finalize. If things go as planned and not divelge itself in political disagreements and other failures in the closing stages such as the Eurofighter and Raptor programmes, we should see the first planes to enter service in 2008. While I'm at this, perhaps it will be worth noting that Dan Brown's depiction of a HSCT, (High Speed Civil Transports) in his book, Angels and Demons is still a dream to date. At his claimed 11,000 mph – that amounts to more than 2 miles per second, putting it further than just supersonic. It's hypersonic ! Hypersonic speeds creates a myriad of new challenges. Analogous to the differences between Newtonian and quantum physics, many variables change at high speeds. At these speeds, traditional aerodynamic design have to give way to aero-thermodynamic design. The vehicle must produce minimum drag and be free of design features that gives rise to concentrations of heat. Thermal management is also critical. Even the special high-flashpoint JP-7 fuel used in the SR-71 Blackbird cannot absorb enough heat. The only plausible answer is cryogenic fuel. And that too, comes at a low-density disadvantage. Which means that it needs a larger fuel tank leading to higher air frame and subsequent more drag. Higher frictional drag leads to more concentrations of heat. And the fuel needs to act as a structural coolant again. So its like a loop flowchart, you get back to square one. There are many other things in his book that raises my eyebrows, such as antimatter technology. Anyways, do you know how much 1 gram of antimatter cost ? Let's just say that even Bill Gates cannot afford it. And yeah, what about using someone's eyes to pass through a retina scan ? In the biometrics arena, retina scan and tongue print can be regarded as the most secure. I do not think we can simply cut someone's eye out to bypass the retina scan. Your eyes will be dead, dilapidated without blood passing through it. Do read the book though, it's so fun !

Hmm.

Think I've written a little more than I should. I haven't really started even. I shall stop here. I do not even know what is it that I'm writing. I'm supposed to share more of my life experiences. Perhaps I take solace from thinking about other things rather than my own life. Perhaps I should think about Siti Nurhaliza. Perhaps I should sing to her: Siti, I'm not an actor, I'm not a star. I don't even have my own car...

Every cloud has its silver lining

2005-01-15T16:21:00.000+08:00

It's been like forever since I've updated my blog. There's so much to write that I don't know where to start. Drifting in the sea of life, I've been subjected to my fair share of riding the crests of waves in galeful winds and the onslaught of wrath by the darkest storms. At 25 years old, I've come to accept that there's certain things in life that we have no control over.

Homo sapiens, conceited of their achievements in being the most successful species on Earth; were humbled recently by our own lifesource - water. Hundreds of thousands of us died within minutes. Plate tectonics. Underground earthquake. Tsunamis. In Morpheus words, "Fate it seems, is not without a sense of irony". (Matrix, 1999).

Suffering breeds endurance. Calamity builds solidarity. We saw camaraderie between countries. Esprit de corp between people from various races, religions and cultures. We saw not only the governments, but student bodies, religious societies, independent groups taking the lead and initiatives to mediate the situation. We saw thousands of volunteering hands in the air, leaving the comforts of hot bath and air-conditioning to be where it matters. We saw millions of dollars in aid.

It makes me ponder. Sometimes, we shouldn't let our heads rule. Helping equates to committing a good mix of time, efforts and/or money. If we were to sit and count how much we could lose through spending our time and efforts on helping others, calculate the opportunity costs involved and why should we even help in the first place - then I'm sure nothing will get done.

It is the essence of our hearts to care and love. No one questioned 'Why?' when the government were committing our money and resources to someone else. No parents, wives or husbands said 'Don't go' when their loved ones were called up to take the next flight to the disaster areas to render assistance and risk their own lives for others. For that, I'm glad to be amongst people whom are driven in pursuing their goals yet compassionate in their dealings with others. And I pray that, we will be saved from any real and potent danger - if God wills it.

Money for Monkeys (continued)

2004-08-28T11:05:00.000+08:00

Introduction

I think it may be useful to state and explain what each definition encompasses so we can move on with the right footing. You may want to refer to the entities below either as yours alone or as a combined one with your spouse.

1. Annual / Monthly Income
• This is the amount of money you earn in a year or a month.

2. Annual / Monthly Expenses
• This is the amount of money you spend in a year or a month.

3. Annual / Monthly Savings
• This is the amount of money you save in a year or a month.

Yes. These are the only concepts you need to know for 'Money for Monkeys'. If you require it to be simpler, I shall have to crack my brain for it.

Goal of managing money

We will begin with the end in mind. One needs to understand the concept of living within one's means.

Looking back at the definitions given, the goal of this whole thing is : to ensure that one's 'expenses' is not more than one's 'income', with a good surplus for a sound savings scheme for unforeseen eventualities, future plans and growth of wealth.

Only then, would you gain financial independance.

Income

For the common man like myself, this refers to the paycheck we get from our employers. It does not vary much, so we can easily use this amount of money to base our expenses and savings calculations on. Do not include bonuses in your monthly income component, since bonuses are less predictable and so that we could use the annual bonuses to pay for annual expenses such as road tax, insurance and children's school books instead. Do not include overtime pay or allowances too, unless it is something which you would get every month - and use a conservative figure as well.

There are less-common men too - whose monthly salaries are not fixed. They either have their own businesses or that their salaries are pegged to their performance and economy - like car salesmen and real estate agents. Usually, the salaries will be cyclical in nature - meaning that it may be higher in some months than others. If you have been working for many years in this line, use the average or median salaries (whichever is lower) as your income to use, to base your expenses calculations on. If you are very new, then try to use your basic salary as a start or let yourself stabilise first before planning to splurge on high-level expenses.

Of course, there will be others who have multi-sources of income. This includes the likes of teachers that gives outside tuition, the professional footballers that sells satay and the pasar-malam warrior that does import-exports on Ebay whilst collecting rent on several condo units he bought before the IRs were planned; amongst others. All the same, use the average amount that you bring home each month, or even lesser if you wish to be more conservative in your calculations. Don't cheat !

Expenses

This is the tricky part. Unlike income, which usually has a specific figure every month - expenses can grow beyond your wildest imagination. There are the monthly ones and the annual ones too. So, it is very important to understand what is a need and what is a want. Put your expenses in a priority order and in categories. The fixed amount first - things such as bills. Then comes the other luxuries in life that you perhaps can do without. Each of us will put priority to different things, so I will just put up a general example here.

Fixed Monthly Expenses (Bills)

1. Housing instalment
2. Parents’ monthly allowance
3. Electricity
4. Water
5. Kids' school fees
6. Kids' tuition fees
7. Kids' monthly allowance
8. Home phone
9. Handphone
10. Car instalments
11. Internet
12. Cable TV

The part on housing instalments, you need to put up only the cash top-up portion only, if any – the CPF parts will usually settle by itself, unless your monthly CPF contributions is lesser than your monthly housing instalments. There will be a lot more bills of course, if you bought other things such as plasma tv, solitaire diamonds and lorenzo furniture through monthly instalments or your itchy hand tend to swipe the credit card a lot. The thing is, we should compile this up and monitor it every month. If some things have to 'go' then we can easily see which one is of the least priority too, whether it is the car or the cable tv or even kids' tuition, it is up to us. Do use a simple excel sheet to help with the basic functions of adding up the figures, if possible.

Variable Monthly Expenses

1. Food
2. Transportation
3. Health care
4. Personal care
5. Donations
6. Entertainment

Food is to include both home-cooked and outside meals, picnics, snacks and even the chewing gum bought in JB. Health care includes vitamin supplements, dentistry or life support programmes such as dialysis, whilst personal care includes one’s cosmetics, sunglasses, clothings, toothbrush and other accessories. Donations may be placed in either fixed or variable expenses. Other than the usual donations, it also includes wedding gifts, birthdays and other celebrations. The Muslims may want to include the ‘zakat harta’ in either the monthly expenses or the annual expenses to be discussed later. Entertainment shall include hobbies, watching movies, going to the spa or visiting Ah Meng at the zoo. Again, add in more rows if required – but keeping the categories as general as possible will be less confusing. This thing can only work if the expenses are religiously tracked, so that it may be clearly understood where the money is going to.

Fixed Annual Expenses

1. Income tax
2. Kids’ school books
3. Road tax
4. Insurances
5. Club memberships
6. Renewal of licenses

Variable Annual Expenses

1. Travel holidays
2. Home furnishings/appliances
3. Personal purchases

This is the confusing part. Some people live their life just ensuring that their monthly income will be able to cover up their monthly expenditure, yet it is these annual expenses that lurks up from behind and render them helpless at times. A sound savings plan is thus, imperative to a successful finance management. I would personally recommend that the ‘Annual Expenses’ have its own part in the ‘Savings’ category, as highlighted in the next point.

Savings

Every little kid knows the phrase ‘saving for a rainy day’. Somehow, when we grow up we tend to forget the merits of having a good savings plan. While we work hard to gain more income and be conscientious of our expenses, we will need to be really disciplined to maintain the savings plan. It is similar to a diet programme, one may forget about it for a while and when one finally remembers, one has to start all over again from scratch. In any case, once you have decided on a particular amount you would need for monthly expenses, the rest will be kept for savings. You should have specific goals and a vision on your savings plan.

From my inextensive, in fact near-zilch experience, I would recommend 3-categories of savings with another 3 sub-parts in the last category.

1. Fixed Annual Savings
2. Variable Annual Savings
3. Life savings
` a. Emergency funds
` b. Future funds
` c. Disposable funds

After calculating how much you need for the fixed annual expenses, divide it up and get it ready before it is due. Then, put aside a specific amount which one is comfortable with, for the life savings. The emergency funds are of utmost importance, its significance being to protect oneself from a bad spell that insurance may not cover. Accidents, critical illnesses and unemployment are amongst the biggest worries. One may quickly realise that even though insurances cover perhaps a large chunk of an emergency, the small portion to be borne is still quite a hefty price to be paid in dire needs. In some instances, you may even have to pay for the bills first before you could make a claim – which is an ordeal that could take many months.

How much should the emergency funds be ?

Frankly speaking, I would recommend nothing less than a year’s income. Thus, if you earn $2000 a month, you should have $24,000 set aside in the bank as your emergency funds. It will take a few years to save, yet it is the most crucial part. One should save as much as they can while one is still single and without much responsibilities and ‘expenses’ to their name. The bulk of one’s bonuses in their younger years should be used to ready the emergency funds as quickly as possible. Of course, as one’s income increases, so does one’s cap for the emergency funds.

The variable annual savings should be a separate entity from the life savings. Should one plan to buy a new Bose Lifestyle 48 entertainment system, or wants to go to Machu Picchu in Peru for a holiday, it should be saved for, separate from the fixed amount one has set aside for the life savings. There may be some allowances to be made for weddings and first-time home downpayment though, according to individual preferences.

The setting up of the emergency funds itself may take a few years. The fun part starts when you are planning for the future. Everyone’s future plans are different. The more pertinent ones would be saving up for your children’s education. Tertiary education are getting more expensive nowadays. It is growing a lot faster than the inflation rate, and as parents – it may be the regret of a lifetime should one not be able to send one’s kid to university – especially if the kids are eligible and want to pursue their dreams through it. Other future plans may be to retire early, an upgrade to a bigger house, to set up one’s own business, or to buy a car. One thing leads to another – do not plan to just save enough for the downpayment of the bigger house or car. Each purchase should be calculated for and assessed to be viably sustainable in the long term.

For most of us, these future plans funds will take another few years to save for. Once this is up and running, then there would not be much worries that one has but to grow the money for retirement. The part on disposable income, is basically the last part of saving for the sake of savings. It should not be taken as unimportant as sometimes, they may be things which one may not have foreseen, and it could arrive a little shockingly, such as an invitation to join a business venture with a couple of old friends.

Investing

There are many ways of growing your savings. It will not really be covered here today, as that will be a whole separate topic by itself. However, there are a few things that one should know. Firstly, there are about 4 basic factors that you should ask yourself before investing.

Duration - How long do you want to invest for?

Returns - Do you want income or growth?

Liquidity - Do you need to get to your money easily?

Risk - Understanding the nature of risk involved

As a rule of thumb I’ve set according to the plan stated above is that, to put in your emergency funds in a low risk basket such as fixed deposits in reputable banks, the future funds may take moderate risk ones such as unit trusts or some blue chip shares whilst the disposable income portion can go for the high risk junk bonds, securities or even commodities.

Summary

1. The goal is to ensure that one's 'expenses' is not more than one's 'income', with a good surplus for a sound savings scheme for unforeseen eventualities, future plans and growth of wealth.

2. Income is the fixed amount money earned a month. Bonuses and overtime are to be deposited to ‘Fixed Annual Savings’ to pay for ‘Fixed Annual Expenses’ and its surplus to be deposited to ‘Variable Annual Savings’ accordingly.

3. Expenses are divided into 4 parts;
-------• Fixed Monthly Expenses (bills)
-------• Variable Monthly Expenses
-------• Fixed Annual Expenses
-------• Variable Annual Expenses

4. Savings are divided into 3 parts and 3 sub parts;
-------• Fixed Annual Savings
-------• Variable Annual Savings
-------• Life Savings
--------------i. Emergency Funds (equivalent to a year’s wages)
--------------ii. Future Funds
--------------iii. Disposable Funds

5. Investment assessment should include;
-------• Duration
-------• Returns
-------• Liquidity
-------• Risk

6. As a rule of thumb, one may maximise use;
-------• Emergency funds for low risk investments
-------• Future Funds for medium risk invesments
-------• Disposable funds for high risk investments

Last Note

There are a lot of ways of doing things and I am sure that there are better ways of managing your money out there. The methods I propose here are just the basics – understanding how much we earn, living within our means, planning for the future and saving for a rainy day. As long as the basics are right and the intentions are true, then one would be able to live rather comfortably with a sound financial management plan. Do inform me if you disagree with any of my proposed ideas or concepts, I would be pleased to hear it. Do share with me some of your methods so I can learn them too. We learn better through sharing of ideas.

Reflections - A National Day Special

2004-08-28T01:36:00.000+08:00

This was from an excerpt I wrote during Singapore's National Day, which was posted on friendster on 9th Aug 2004.

Truth sometimes hurts. And it will, for many of us when we’ve heard what is about to be told. It may hit a nerve, but it is intended to serve as a war-cry for continued improvements and preserving the way of life we’ve come to take for granted.

We need no reminders to remember what Singapore has achieved. Our fathers and grandfathers had toiled much to bring forth the luxuries we are so accustomed to, each day. And Singapore did it without digging for oil and gold from under its soil. We did it with the brains and brawn of our people.

The world is a fluid one with constant change. For us to remain competitive, we must change with the times, or perish like dinosaurs. It was found that what works for us in the past may not garner the same results in the future. The successes of our government in inspiring us, albeit using interventionist and paternalistic policies in crafting our culture – will eventually reach a nadir.

>
Nation in Celebration

Most of us have seen the movie “I not stupid”. It is but a true rendition of what’s happening to us now. Our materialistic orientation may have gone too far in directing us towards economic and social-status objectives. This dire need for better quantifiable results – both in school and workplace, has somewhat made us myopic and less aware on the true objectives of knowledge acquisition or even our purpose in life.

A study conducted recently shows the cracks in our seemingly staunch workforce. We have found that the Hong Kong people were leaner and keener than ourselves. Singaporeans do not appear to be psychologically geared to be as independent minded and resilient. It was no surprise that Singaporeans are seen as government-dependant compared to our Hong Kong counterparts who accept responsibilities for their lives and livelihood.

Singaporeans have also picked up some pusillanimous traits – many are afraid of standing out and becoming an entrepreneur. The public sector had skimmed off talent with its high salaries, prestige and job security. The truth is hard to swallow – the Singaporean workforce lacks creativity and entrepreneurship capabilities to exploit global environments. Of course, we may have Sim Wong Hoo – the world class entrepreneur of leading sound-card maker, Creative Technology. But this is a far cry compared to Taiwan, that has, despite shortcomings including inefficient infrastructure and rampant corruption - has proven a much more effective incubator for entrepreneurs whose bright new ideas form essential ingredients for economic growth.

Unlike Singapore – that has attracted more than 5000 MNCs here, with about half having their regional headquarters here, Taiwan builds MNCs themselves. Very few Singaporean companies take risks through succeeding or failing on their own merits. Without them, Singapore will have to continue to rely on MNCs – whose profits flow to foreign head offices. Singaporeans comprises the world’s most computer literate people and we have all the right infrastructure including a fibre-optic backbone linked to every home through telephone lines and Cable-TV connections. All these luxuries are in place – but how are we utilizing it?

More fireworks

Our government understands this and realizes that all the things that made Singapore so successful today will make it unsuccessful in the future. It’s time to go to the mattresses. We have to change our mindset on a lot of things. We have to start asking questions. We have to challenge the norms. We have to learn to take calculated risks. We cannot rest on our laurels – we have to keep moving, improving and building a successful nation. Our fathers have done their parts – it is now up to us. As 9th August approaches, let us reflect on how we can make it count; how we can do our part and make our children and children’s children have a better future in this prosperous little isle, we call home.

Our home

Have a wonderful 39th Birthday, Singapore ! :D

Back in the lock-up

2004-08-14T11:37:00.000+08:00

Singapore's National Service (NS) is an obligation every male Singaporean has to go through. My NS had been prematurely disrupted to allow me to further my studies. Upon returning home, I had reported back to the Police National Service Department (PNSD) to resume and complete my NS. Presumably, I have 2 weeks left.

The medical check-up affirmed that my Pes status remained unchanged, and that I'm fit for all operational duties. The very first day of NS had been utterly boring. I was at first attached to the A Division PNS department, where I spent nearly the whole day reading Dan Brown's Da VinCi's code. There were not enough chairs and I felt out of place. The PNS PO tried to utilise my previous experience in the Service Quality Department to crack my brains for their WITs project. I turned the table around and told her that WITs is a group project - where we have to discuss on how we can streamline work processes and improve things. A newcomer like myself will not be able to help her as I'm not au fait with what they're doing and most importantly, how they're doing it. She gave me that queer eye, understanding that she's run onto a wall. A few hours later, she told me that I'll be posted out to the RHQ team B - doing lock up duty.

I guess its not such a bad idea after all. SI Henry, former OC transport is the in-charge for RHQ team B. I still remember the times when we played soccer together. He recognised me immediately and gave that similar wide-grin when his team conceded a goal on the pitch. A stout and cheerful man - I've enjoyed working under his tutelage and supervision, even though it's for a mere few weeks. The station sergeant, SSS Santharan had also been really helpful and understanding a supervisor. He even invited me to join the force, assuring that both SI and himself will recommend me into it if I'm interested. It's a really enticing offer - especially now that I needed money and a career most. But, as usual, I'll continue following my heart and keep the faith that I'll get a job in aviation line one day. I turned down their generous offer, politely.

During the couple of days working in the lock up, I had the chance to try out the various posts available there. It include processing person- in-custody (PIC), bail processing, body searcher, processing PIC's properties, clustered lock up and CCTV surveillance. I made quite a number of friends there but due to the limited time I have had in getting to know them better - I'm having this impression that I may not keep in contact with them much further.

The short stint there opened my eyes to a lot of things. People who are arrested comes in all various races, nationalities and languages. So too, were the variety of offences. Most of them however, were illegal immigrants from Sri Lanka, India, Indonesia, China, Malaysia and Vietnam. Many came to Singapore in search for work. There are also people who are arrested for not paying their TV licenses, drink driving, molest, shoplifting, affray and of course, possession of controlled drugs. The range of people are diverse as well - from teenage kids in school uniform to lewd old men who displayed their privates in public.

When my last day finally come - it dawned as a long-awaited ticket to freedom. I was smiling all the time, even though I just came back from KL the day before. I've met Farah there - together with fellow Singaporeans, Izwan and Fairuz (who stopped over in KL after their Hatyai trip) and Adrrian (who is there on a business trip). We went out for seafood dinner late at night - then caught a glimpse of Man United lucky win against Norwich. Thereafter, we went for pool for an hour or so before slacking at a mamak's place. The whole journey had been surreal and upon reaching home - a new working day was about to start. Albeit, it is also the last day I'll be donning the police uniform - at least, not until reservist.

I bade farewell to them and walked out of the cantonment complex full of hope and spirits. My heart skipped a beat and spoke : "I'll start teaching tuition at AMP tomorrow. I'll finish my resume and pass it to Jeremy and Firdaus in a few days. I'll ask Magdeline again whether her mum requires a chauffeur for her kids next month. I'll call Mahirah, asking her whether her mum is agreeable to have me be her tutor for Physics and Chem. Soon, in one way or another, I'll get a job. And my cashflow, hopefully - will be perpetually steady soon."

When will "happily ever after" be achieved ?

2004-08-12T12:53:00.000+08:00

I've told my friend that i'll start blogging again - and I shall try with to do it in a more consistent manner. However, as soon i started typing two days ago - a grimly event occurred. A sinisterly mortal sin, my brother had accidentally crashed my windows operating system. The laptop had been with me since my very first day in NZ. It contains not only my extensive collection of videos, mp3s, pictures and ebooks... all my previous assgts, thoughts, poems and my extensive contact list of friends are also gone. The loss is immensely disheartening.

Thus, I stopped my blogging then. I tried to think of all the ways possible to get my data back, albeit it became a futile effort on my part. Finally, I resigned to my cursed fate and reinstalled Windows XP Pro. The saddest part was that - the extra partition or virtual drive that I have allocated for my stuff had been breached too. This is because the system required the hard disc to be converted to NTFS format upon re-installation of Windows XP PRo (default was FAT32). The 2 drives had been merged into 1 and all existing data was gone.

Irritatingly, I have been experiencing such dire luck lately - thus I'm not able to be as angry as I probably should. I told my brother off lightly and explaining to him that since he could not take care of my things well, he had just been banned from touching my laptop ever again. Right now, I'm just trying to re-establish my contact numbers, emails, addresses and thinking of the possible people that might have these things and softwares that I need.

And guess what ? As I was writing this, Mohamad msged me on MSN - he said that the car he bought from me need some major repair works. The car failed WOF and required about $400 to go on road legally. After pondering over it, I think - it's better to split the cost than to have an unhappy customer. I paid him immediately through e-banking and thus able to focus on my other pertinent matters at hand. If these things do not get done and over with quickly, it'll eventually be a mental burden on my already heavy cranium.

Magdeline called me whilst I'm messaging Mohamad online and I was chatting with her whilst paying Mohaman through e-banking. She was telling me the usual stuffs, gossips and updates on some celebrities she was fond of. However, I dun think I should include what we spoke on, here - lest she gets mad. It was my day to complain and she was rather sympathetic of my plight. Those things in the laptop were dearer to me than anything else I brought back from NZ. It was like a diary of everything I did there....

Wilson called me whilst I was on the phone with Magdeline. He told me that the bridge game at Sara's place will be on the next day, and that there will be a birthday party for Esther the day after. I'm definitely going for both. I will not be working on both days, and I shall savour every occasion I can have with my friends before I get caught up in our infamous society's rat race. I passed him my new cellphone number. He offered to pass the number on to our friends. That'll be perfect, but I'll post it online soon anyways.

The energy I used to have and radiate upon the people around me is fading. Perhaps it has been like that since my days in NZ. The cornocupia of emotions sets my mind wandering in search of a reason. Has living in laid-back NZ made me less competitive and less inquisitive about life ? I'm still skeptical on the advantages of studying overseas. Although it opened up my eyes on lots of stuff, I'm afraid I might have picked up some undesirable traits there as well.

Diehard TPAC

Looking at Heiril, Ruth, Anwar, Esther, Wira, Edwin, Raihan, Shir Li, Faisal, Stanley, Ismail and many other friends ceaselessly pursuing their goals - I feel really home. These people whom I spent most of my childhood years and carefree days have put their plans into action. The chess pieces are moving. The era that we've been talking, planning and getting ready for (during our school days) have finally dawned upon us. Watch out world ! I shall make my moves soon.

Warm hearts and a touched soul

2004-07-25T23:34:00.000+08:00

It had been a bizarre week. A few days ago, my car is still in Wellington awaiting its rim which hadn’t been delivered from Auckland. I felt like tearing the face of that sales representative from Beaurepaires apart – but on hindsight, he’s just a pawn in the blasphemy of errors inherent in a country that suffers from a lack of effective operations management.

I’m currently sitting on a Singapore Airlines flight back home. Most of the passengers appear restless. I’ve just created a playlist and am listening to a list of songs from a compilation of 205 CDs. However, I felt warm and uneasy. Perhaps it’s the thermals I’m still wearing, or is it simply the withdrawal symptoms from the cool Antarctic gales that I’ve grown accustomed to, albeit with strikingly similar moans of complaints.

As I sat, I pondered upon the last days of my life in New Zealand as an international student. Though I acted macho at Palmerston North’s airport – I’m actually befuddled and in a state of confused hysteria. I was thinking about catching the plane, the people around me, the emotional attachments they radiate, whether my passport and ticket are in place and whether there is anything amiss. But the loudest voice in my head is one of protest and refutation. I keep telling myself – this is not the end. We shall meet again. The friendship that has blossomed so healthily in such a short period of time will not end here. I refuse to accept that. This is not goodbye. The end of an era denotes the beginning of another. Despite the clutter of thoughts and emotions, I was reminded of Kakok’s words. She said, “in this distant land, friends are the only ones I’ve got – they’re my family here”. And I found some solace through that thought – family ties do not break easy.

Prior to departing, whilst on the plane – my mind can’t help but playing flashbacks of the deeds that epitomizes the value of friendship. It’s heart-warming, truly. Unlike a heart-wrenching saga a few months ago, this time the tears that welled up are ones of bliss, gratefulness and resolve. Bliss for having granted the milk of human kindness and emotions. Grateful for having met and got acquainted with such amazing friends. Resolved, in making this friendship a lasting one.

Last day in Palmerston North

I cannot fully express these radical feelings that’s churning within me in words. Still, I wish to express my sincerest thanks and gratitude to my friends who has made my life a pleasant and meaningful journey in New Zealand. I still cannot get over the shock. It really touched me – having 14 of you guys coming all the way from Wellington, renting some cars and driving for 2 solid hours after class just to see me off. I’m touched, I truly am. It means a lot to me and I’m sure that while it lasted but a fleeting moment in time – it shall be preserved in my heart forever.

This is also true for my beloved friends in Palmerston North and Dunedin – there were quite a few who called and sent messages – whether through the cellphone, email or ‘friendster’. Thank you for all the little thoughtful deeds that defined the true meaning of friendship. We have gone through much together, and did heaps of stuffs – from simple things like watching a sunset together, to spurring one another to jump off together (from that bungy platform), driving around New Zealand, learning to cook, playing those silly games, skiing, waking one another up to go to the flea market, cooking then selling food at the square and school to raise funds, sharing our life’s secrets, confiding on one another when the going gets tough and of course – encouraging one another to focus on our studies.

At the airport

Going through these builds character in our lives, whether we have noticed it or not. Education encompasses a sphere of boundary larger than just academic excellence – one has to develop many aspects of social skills through experiential learning. This is manifested in our everyday actions and thoughtful deeds to everyone; including professional acquaintances, our friends and loved ones. I wish to thank each and every one of you who had been kind enough to open up their hearts and saw a friend in me. I also wish to take this opportunity to apologize for any wrongdoings that I may have inflicted upon any of you whether knowingly or unknowingly. I hope you guys will forgive me on whatever shortcomings that I may have propagated since the day we met. You guys shall always have a special place in my heart.

Last day in Palmerston North

This is definitely not goodbye. We will meet again, if God wills it. Nothing on Earth is eternal, but our deeds shall live forever in the hearts of those we touched.

PS: I have refrained from naming the individuals, to be fair to all and keep within the allowed word limit.

When worst and best permeates fabrics of the week

2004-07-15T20:33:00.000+08:00

this posting was meant for the week starting 4th july... it had been a hectic week before that - i've been to wanganui to attend my friends' convocation and bade them farewell before they return to malaysia. met abg zaid before going there to clean up his computer of viruses and do some maintenance for it too. before i proceeded to wellington - there were lotsa loose ends still not tied. rene was going back, and i had to ask him to sell off some stuffs before he returned home. just in case things like last yr happens again. its kinda irresponsible of him, but it is to be expected. met up with abg zapi to pass him some installers as well.

upon reaching welly, i went straight up to boulcott. yusuf was there as well. they're doing this cover pages for the bersatu's info. booklet. i took over when i came since they had lotsa stuffs to do at the rec centre. probs start when the ink cartridges ran out of ink. the colors are no longer true, and i had less than 45mins to finish it. the inkjet takes abt 1.5 mins per page, due to the picture size. i went to hassanal for help. i was thinking that it'll be cheaper and faster to print it in school if it's in grayscale. consequently, we rushed to his workplace where we printed abt 100 pages in less than 3 mins. thus the job of the day was done. i stayed over at the rec centre to watch the commencement ceremony. i stood in awe as dozens of contingents pour into the rec centre. the malaysian students in nz were quite a united lot. through a strong sense of camaraderie and patriotism, things were done in an orderly and fun sense. there's this family kind of feeling to it. it's more like a get together function than a sports competition.

i met quite a no. of familiar faces then. people whom i have pledged my friendship with. friends whom i respect. i stood whilst the negaraku was being sung - half controlling my laughter, watching zahrin and sita (fellow singaporeans) who had been tricked into being part of the wellington's team contingent - and sitting on the floor with the rest of them. i can see irma running around, taking photographs. and she got her sis to take photographs of her as well. the various high commission ppl took turns to the podium to say a word or two. most of them spoke extempore, albeit with some jittery moments. shawn led the contingents to taking the athletes' pledge. he took it with earnestness and a tad of his shawn smirk. i spoke to jackie a lot - cause the others were busy doing their things. kakok looked amazingly childlike in her new pair of glasses. anas sported a long flowing hair, olivia is still as quiet as ever, jan, naz, is, yus, ike and others were all busy at their posts, doing their stuffs. it reminded me of the days in adventure club. i missed my frens in sg. seriously. the memories we had are still vividly fresh, and i'd do anything to relive those nostalgic moments. perhaps, this scenario serve to remind me of the beautiful things a good team can achieve together. it shall inspire me to do greater stuffs in the future. there'll be a time when i have to face my tests. and i shall not fear that day when it comes...