Eid. Not yet

Ramadhan whizzed past. The tears of Syawal have dried up more quickly than before. It evoked the cornucopia of yesteryears. A young man relived some of his salient days then.

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"Son, we all miss you. Do return." [translated]

His mum's tears perhaps have trickled down her cheeks as she continued coaxing him to return. On the other line, thousands of miles away in Aotearoa - the young man could no longer hold his tears. Despite his plans, his will, his reasons.

He had planned to work throughout his summer holidays. He'd summoned his will, to sacrifice one Eid. His reason was plain: so that he could earn enough to pay for his lodging, for the next semester in school. He doesn't want to impose too much on his parent's limited reserves. He knew of his parents' sacrifices for him. Their hopes and aspirations. He knew.

Yet, mum's tears can change anything. If there's anything that could shake one's will, bend the laws of reason and obliterate his plans - this is it. In between their quiet sobs, they both could hear the takbir quite unmistakably, in the background.

"Well, that's it." He thought, as the conversation ended.

Like an experienced phone operator, he got to work in clockwork efficacy. He called his manager to inform him that he's got to return home whilst the other hand googled the web for Singapore Airlines ticketing services number. Within six minutes, he had quit his holiday job, booked the next available ticket to Singapore and informed his flatmate that he's scooting off home. The next few hours were spent packing his luggage, cleaning the room and some last minute shopping for souvenirs to bring home.

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Fast forward a few years later.

The same man, perhaps more matured then, goes through the same ordeal. Again. It's the third time in 4 years that he's celebrating Eid without his family by his side. Deep inside, he hopes it'll not become a trend.

This time though, he knows that there's no turning back on his plans. Like his fellow friends, he had burnt the bridge behind him. His only consolation was that, at least, he wasn't alone. Sacrifices sometimes are required for a greater good perhaps, in the future.

The past year could very well be amongst the most trying for him. The young man has had a wonderful time in his schooling days. Thus, struggling for nearly a year to find a job is a harsh reality he finds excruciatingly difficult to grasp. He'd tried it all. A tutor. A salesperson. A real estate agent. An IT administrator. An insurance agent. An aircraft maintenance planner. Alas, these are part-time jobs he had to take whilst he frantically tries to find something more suitable as a career. Thus, labels such as 'failure', 'lazy', 'good-for-nothing', 'the unemployed' and the likes stuck to him like flies over rubbish.

The young man's posterior remained resilient. Yet the cracks in his once stolid beliefs are becoming increasingly evident. He doesn't really care about what others say, think or believe.

"Since when did the opinions of others matter ?" He mused.

But. To see the same love and hope in the eyes of his parents, every single day, has since become unbearable. Their unflinching faith in him brings with it a stupendous amount of responsibility he's afraid he couldn't shoulder. Slowly, it's nibbling into his confidence and sense of self-worth.

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One day, somehow.

Interviewer : Young man, can you swim ?
Young Man : Yes, sir.
Interviewer : Are you afraid of water ?
Young Man : No, sir.
Interviewer : Are you afraid of heights ?
Young Man : No, sir.
Interviewer : You're not afraid of anything ?
Young Man : Of course not, sir. I'm only human. (smiles)
Interviewer : What's your greatest fear, then ?
Young Man : My greatest fear, sir.... (pausing)
Interviewer : Yes ?
Young Man : Is not being able to provide for my family....
Interviewer : hmm.... (nodding)

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Suddenly, a new phase of life starts for him.

Quintessentially, it will not be without it's fair share of joys and tribulations.

What'll happen to that young man ?

No one knows. The road through life has never been certain. He'd pray that he'd be blessed with the faith, strength and courage in his quest. One Eid, perhaps, he'd tell his tale.

But not yet. Not yet.