Interestingly boring

A friend asked me to write about our days here in Perth. "Especially this last lap," he requested. I turned my head and looked at him. I know that face. He wanted me to encapsulate the intangible emotions that seemed to sap the very soul of our lives away.

But, I thought to myself. Words fail.

We have clocked about a year here in Perth. The fiery excitement of living in a foreign land had long been extinguished. Our days are spent in drawing whatever strength from every little crevice left in our hearts. We pray for relentless hope to achieve and unyielding aspiration to succeed. The shining force of enthusiasm that fueled our spirits at the start is waning. Yet when we looked up to the sky above, it takes our breath away. At least one thing is certain, our passion has never diminished.

The predicament is uncanny. Unlike running the last lap of a race, we are not as fortunate to know where the finishing line is. We live one day at a time. Study and practice. Learn and familiarise. Preparations for each lesson were made as early as possible, lest we need to repeat them should our performance do not make the grade. We are subjected to many an external factor that may affect us – ones that slow our progress, hinder our skills acquisition or downplayed our abilities.

Please, do not misundertand me. I am not complaining. I am merely sorting my thoughts out so I do not lose focus. Always keep your eyes on your goal, I was taught. Bring yourself nearer to it, everyday. So yes, that is what I would do. What we, would do.

Roots Matter

My mind shifted. I wondered. About Singapore. My home. My family.

Mum had been bored for too long a time. Unlike most girls, she does not thrive on the idea of being a "tai-tai" at home. She needs to get out there and do something. After decades of little adventures, being anything from a halal-meats butcher in a wet market, a canteen vendor in my secondary school and polytechnic, a free-lance cook for festivities, sales agent for pyrex and tupperware (amongst other companies), a real estate agent and many other little thrills - all this, while taking care of five children; she now looks at the prospect of becoming a cab driver. Sometimes, I wonder what is it that she cannot do.

Dad lives his day in anticipation for me to graduate. I have this feeling that he wished to retire and start a business on his own once I am done. He shared his vision with me, once. To be a farmer. I can already imagine him wearing a straw hat, large retro sunglasses and khaki pants, tending to his small-time cattle and crops. Under the tropical sun, drinking pina coladas (more probably to be teh-tarik or milo-ais) over green meadows in the country's sultry tropical sun. My mum perhaps, would intercom him over the walkie-talkie every half an hour asking him to come back and eat lunch / tea-break / dinner in a real kampung house. There, they shall bask, in a simple life. But then, how can mum even stay at home ? Anyways, he sounded chirpy the last time I spoke to him over the phone.

"Didn't you get the news ?"

"What news ?" I queried his too general a question.

"We're having a six-month bonus this year !"

I could sense the hearty smile from his voice. It was almost child-like. Dad had been with Singapore Airlines all his life, since Paya Lebar days. His affinity and loyalty, is disdainfully unquestionable. He loved the planes to its bolts and screws.

My siblings are generally fine, save for some "post-natal and post-honeymoon period" crisis for my first sister, "what to do with my life in the future" crisis for my second sister, and "searching for an identity" crisis for my teenage brother. All in all, these are the phases of lives we all have to go through, one way or another. Hana, my eight-year old sister, is still too young for crisises. She still lives in a time when forgetting your homework is like the end of the world. How I wish, I am an eight-year old too.

Protecting Dreams

Then, I pondered a little deeper. Of the past. Present. And the future.

We are living in interesting times. Never before in history, have we had the ability to dream freely and the opportunity to make it true. Every baby born in Singapore today, are granted that right. We are free from serving our colonial masters. Free from legislations of birth rights and racial privileges. Free from unjustified bereaucracy that opens the doors of education only for the males or wealthy or politically affiliated. Just fifty years ago, we were deprived of these basic rights. Our fathers have fought hard so we do not suffer like they did. Many had forgone their dreams, so we can live ours.

So go on. Dream. And live it. If you want to be a doctor, lawyer, teacher, architect, engineer, manager, accountant, writer, artist, composer, director or whatever your dream career is, what better time or era is there for you to realistically go for it ?

Draw it out. Chart it out. Work towards it everyday. Slowly, we are realising this. With every success story of someone close to us, we celebrate a common victory. Liberty unfolded. We begin to have more faith in ourselves and surge forward. Come, let us shape the future. It is our time. Our generation.

Do not listen to the naysayers. There are many. And they come in every shape, size and salutations. Some may come in the form of petty criminals or drug addicts who had lost the plot. They cry out that they have been marginalised, left out, unfairly treated - amongst other excuses given. Yet many still, unfortunately - manifest themselves in the form of trusted friends, uncles, aunties and even those people whom we are supposed to look up to.

I know of a Malay teacher whom had 'lost hope' with the Malay language. She believes that it is a waste of time learning it, her point being that we will not be using it in our working life later on. Its usage is merely symbolic, she argued. I shudder to think if her negativism and pessimistic views rubs on her students.

Christopher Gardner, in the movie 'Pursuit of Happyness' told this to his son :

"You got a dream, you gotta protect it. People can't do something themselves, they wanna tell you that you can't do it. You want something? Go get it. Period."

Perhaps, it sums up what I have been trying to drive at.

I still have much to say actually, especially about the future. Just that perhaps, I think it may be too much to spill everything in the same entry. So there, I shall have to hold those thoughts until next time. Have a good life, and protect your dreams.